!!!miranda madness!!!

tag!!!

2009-06-05T18:33:00.000-07:00

tag jeder!!!!
es tut mir leid.
i am sorry i have not been posting lately.
i haven't been on the computer in a while.
plus i can't post any pictures or videos.

anyway, i'm at the library right now.
i made a silk screen t-shirt.
it says i love ced-chan.

its so cool!

SO THERE IS SOMETHING I NEED TO TELL MY ONLINE READERS (IF I HAVE ANY)
DRUMROLL PLEASE...
I AM NO LONGER OBSESSED WITH BILL KAULITZ!!!
AAAAHHHH!!! WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!?!?!
BUT THAT'S THE WHOLE REASON YOU STARTED THIS BLOG RIGHT??? TO TALK AND OBSESS OVER BILL RIGHT??? YEAH I GUESS, BUT THE LOVE I HAD HAS FADED!!! AND WELL, I DISCOVERED HOW SATISFYING MANGA IS (NOT THAT I HAVE A SEXUAL FETISH OF IT OR ANYTHING...)

SO ANYWAYS... I AM OVER BILL. SADLY. AND THERE WILL BE NO MORE PICTURE OF THE DAY BECAUSE I HAVE NO FLASH DRIVE TO SAVE PICTURES AND WELL, I'M NOT A FREQUENT POSTER ANYMORE. SO YOU PEOPLE WILL HAVE TO BE PATIENT WITH ME UNTIL I MAKE UP MY MIND AND FIND SOMETHING WORTHY OF POSTING. BUT FOR NOW, LETS SAY FAREWELL AND GOODBYE(FOR NOW) TO OUR BELOVED BILL KAULITZ. HE WILL FOREVER BE IN OUR HEARTS, NO MATTER HOW CREEPY SEXY GIRLY HE IS.

*PANT, PANT, PANT* WHO KNEW I WOULD POST THIS MANY PICTURES... *PANT, PANT* THAT WAS TIRING.

AUF WIEDERSEHEN BILL!!!
ICH LIEBE DICH 4EVA!!!!! <3

NOW LET'S ALL JUST SING MONSOON, THE SONG THAT STARTED IT ALL, JUST ONE MORE TIME...

MONSOON
by Bill / Tom Kaulitz

I'm staring at a broken door
There's nothing left here anymore
My room is cold
It's making me insane

I've been waitin here so long
But now the moment seems to've come,
I see the dark clouds coming up again.

Running through the monsoon
Beyond the world,
To the end of time,
Where the rain won't hurt
Fighting the storm,
Into the blue,
And when I lose myself I'll think of you,
Together we'll be running somewhere new
Through the monsoon.
Just me and you

A half moon's fading from my sight
I see your vision in it's light
But now it's gone and left me so alone
I know I have to find you now
Can hear your name, I don't know how
Why can't we make this darkness feel like home?

Running through the monsoon
Beyond the world
To the end of time
Where the rain won't hurt
Fighting the storm
Into the blue
And when I lose myself I'll think of you
Together we'll be running somewhere new
And nothing can hold me back from you
Through the monsoon

Hey! Hey!

I'm fighting all it's power
Coming in my way
Let it take me straight to you
I'll be running night and day
I'll be with you soon
Just me and you
We'll be there soon
So soon

Running through the monsoon
Beyond the world
To the end of time
Where the rain won't hurt
Fighting the storm
Into the blue
And when I lose myself I'll think of you
Together we'll be running somewhere new
And nothing can hold me back from you
Through the monsoon

Through the monsoon
Just me and you
Through the monsoon
Just me and you

ultimo tag of skool!!!!

2009-05-20T07:18:00.000-07:00

YAY!!!
ITS THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL!!!!
SUMMER'S HERE!!!!!!!
TODAY IS GONNA BE SO AWESOME!!!

yesterday i went to my friend's house and for three hours ate a bunch of junk food and watched two psychos play HALO.
i have video evidence but sadly cannot post it at the moment.
but i will soon!!! ;)

Otro dia que no me quiero levantar

2009-05-14T07:17:00.000-07:00

OMG OMG OMG!!!
I JUST FOUND THIS AWESOME BLOG!!!!
http://harajukus.blogspot.com/
its all about japanese fashion.
i really admire japanese fashion.
they dress up all weird and formal and no one classifies them as minorities.
i wish i could dress like they do...

ok so like a miracle happened this morning...
i opened the fridge, hoping there would be strawberries, and..
THERE WERE STRAWBERRIES!!!!

and then last night i had a dream...
it was me and C*** just hanging out at school.
and i kept pushing him away.
it made me realize how stupid i am.
because that's how i've been acting around him lately.
i get jealous or doubtful or suspective of him and then i push him away.
now that i think about it, i don't know why i push him away. maybe so he can realize he's done something wrong and he can come running after me, cos i like it when he comes after me, when he has my attention.
that's all i really want, his attention. i want him to be interested in me. but at the same time, i want ALL his attention. and that's unhealthy isn't it?
i need to figure myself out. i don't know what i want. i'm not okay.

so lately i've been looking at clothes, clothes, and clothes.
i love clothes. i wish i were good at making them.
this summer i want to make dresses. a lot of dresses.
gothic lolita dresses.
i think i should major in japanese urban street style and grow up to be an american dress maker who's dresses are inspired by japanese dresses.
that would be nice. but i also want to be a musician.
playing in a big band, it makes you feel like your part of something. like you belong, like you have a meaning in life. and the music, don't get me started on the music, all those sounds envelope you and make you feel sumblime and it is just a wonderful experience being a musician.

so i feel as if i'm avoiding C***. i don't want him to think that i am but then again i'm afraid i am i mean, i take a different bus home, i don't see him at lunch, i just don't see him so often anymore. its hard being near him and knowing i'm a nuisance.

so anyways...
heres a picture of some LOLIS:

OH!!! AREN'T THEY SO PRECIOUS?!?! <3
I JUST LOVE LOLIS. THEY ARE SO FASHIONABLE.
IF ONLY I WERE ONE...

AND NOW ITS TIME FOR...
TODAY'S PICTURE OF THE DAY!!!
YAY!!! n_n
DAS HEUTE TAG IST...

TEE-HEE!!! BILL LOOKS SO CUTE!!! <3
i wonder if i've posted this already...hmm...
OH WELL!!! IT DOESN'T MATTER...

so omg only like three and a half days of school left.
YAY!!!
can't wait till summer..
gonna make some money and clothes and just gonna be busy sculpting my futuro.
also i've been signed up for english A.P. so i'll be reading...
HOPEFULLY THEY ARE GOOD BOOKS.

well i'm tired of venting.
see you tomorrow!!!
AUF WIEDERSEHEN!!!

WeNsDeE

2009-05-13T11:03:00.000-07:00

so its settled, me and c*** are "separated".
he said he feels "caged in". i don't like that.
he also said we should see other people. i don't want to see other people. i hope i really do change over the summer so that then me and c*** can start over and maybe i won't be so awful. my teacher was right when she said that girlfriends are worse than boyfriends. i hope that IF i do date anyone else that its a girl.
so my main goal over the summer is to change. maybe i should start taking ZOLOFT and then maybe i'll stop thinking that c*** messes around with other girls.

its time for...
TODAY'S PICTURE OF THE DAY!!! YAY!!!^o^
DAS HEUTE TAG IST...

yay!!! bill looks so pretty!!!<3
i really do wish i had a flash drive...
(SIGHS...)

so its almost time to go.
AUF WIEDERSEHEN!!!

martei (did i spell that right???)

2009-05-12T07:20:00.000-07:00

Dramatic
by YUKI

Nakushita yakusoku wa hoshi ni
Omoide wa tokenai
Yotsuba no kuroobaa sagashinagara
Kimi no kao chirari to mitewa me o sorasu
Arekara dorekurai yoru o koetano?
Nigate na tokoro kara nigeteruno?
Fuku o kigaete mado no soto o mitemiyoo
Shinkokyuushite mieru keshiki wa
Chigau hazu dawa

*Kowareta taisetsuna mono to
Itsuka mata aeru hi ga kuru kashira
Nokoshita kizuato ga kienai
Sorezore no basho made
Moo ikanakuccha

Popura namiki dasenai mama no love letter
Nandomo te o furikaeshita wakaregiwa
Osanai koro omoiegaiteta subete wa
Kanaerareta ka no yooni mieta noni
Yasashii ame wa furu watashitachi no ue ni
Surechigau hito no kazu dake
Doramachikku ni naruno
Nakushita yakusoku wa hoshi ni
Omoide wa tokenai de soba ni aru
Ima kokoro wa kiyoku hikaru
Namida de mienakunaru
Sasayakana nagareboshi o hitotsubu
Tenohira ni ageru kara

LuNeS:pArT tWo

2009-05-11T11:39:00.001-07:00

ok so ****** just broke up with me.
he said that if we still feel the same way when we come back to school after the summer, we can go out again.
i have a bad feeling about this.
this is exactly what a said.
but when we came back he was dating someone else so i moved on and it turns out he still "loved me"
i'm pretty sure he broke up with me so he could be with other girls and he wouldn't be cheating on me.

i feel so stupid.
i bet he's gonna date other girls.
have sex with them too.
me, i'll be working.
making money and wasting it on senseless things.
or perhaps starting a career with that money.
all i know is, i am so desperate for a credit card so i can order all my clothes online.
and maybe even get ZIMMER 483

its cold in here.
i miss bill.
let's have a picture of the day...
DRUMROLL PLEASE..
DAS TAG HEUTE IST...

TEE-HEE!!!
THAT PICTURE IS SO FUNNY!!!<3

so i think that maybe over the summer i will transform into a GOTHIC LOLITA.
I CAN'T WAIT!!!<3
I keep looking through my GOTHIC AND LOLITA book and i just love everyone's outfits!!!<3

here is another picture of lolitas

AREN'T THEY SO PRECIOUS?!?!<3
WELL MY TIME IS UP FOR TODAY.

AUF WIEDERSEHEN!!!

LuNeS

2009-05-11T07:10:00.000-07:00

its here.
the day i will find out whether or not my boyfriend wants to give up on me.
i keep sending him spanish love songs and english heart broken songs.

I AM SO PATHETIC!!! :(

i also have his stuff. his SCHOOL STUFF. but i'll give it to his first hour teacher.
i feel bad. really bad. i keep obsessing over my depression. i took like ten tests online, and the last test said i have severe depression.

ok so i'm trying not to think about him anymore.
i found this website, VANILLADAYS.COM, its really awesome!!! they posted pictures of an anime convention. i wanna go!!!

and i'm also really into lolita fashion. i wish i could make pretty dresses like this:

if only...(SIGHS...)

omg!!!! this is the book i have!!!

and here are some awesome clothes!!!

ok so i gotta go now. i might be back.
AUF WIEDERSEHEN!!!

2009-05-08T18:05:00.000-07:00

Akanai mabuta kosutte mieru
Pasuteru moyou no mirai ni
Chiribamerareta kigou wo tadoru
Taguriyoseta hyoujou

Nee, nan dakke sagashiteita mono
Are wa, sou ne itsu dakke
Bokura ga inryoku ni sakarai nagara deatta koro

Sore wa warutsu no you da ne fushigisa
Sasayaku you na komorebi no kousaten de
Futari warutsu no you ni ne mawarinagara
Egakidashite yuku mono

Atatamesugita omoi wo zembu
Hakidashite mieru randosukeepu
Hantoshi ijou kusuburaseteru
Imeeji ni hi wo toboshite

Nan dakke nakushite shimatta mono
Sore de mo iin datte
Bokura no inryoku de hikiai motomeau no darou

Sore wa warutsu no you da ne shitekisa
Tsubuyaku you na saezuri kikinagara
Marude warutsu no you ni ne futari ga
Egakidashite yuku mono

Aa, toboketa genjitsu mo genshoku de nurikaete shimae
Hikiyosete ageru kara nee
Soko kara odoritsudzukeyou
Futari dake no warutsu

Sore wa warutsu no you da ne fushigisa
Sasayaku you na komorebi no kousaten de
Futari warutsu no you ni ne mawarinagara
Egakidashite yuku mono

I LOVE THAT SONG^o^!!!!!
its the theme ending to the honey and clover anime.
ICH LIEBE HONEY UND CLOVER!!!!<3

I also really like this spanish pop group called BELANOVA.
THE SINGER SINGS SO PRETTY!!!!!!<3
I ENVY HER!!!!>)

LOL. i tried looking for suneohair online (they sing the song above) and all i found was a karaoke version but its still really good so i put it on my myspace.

ok so now i'm watching those tokio hotel funny videos.
they seriously are funny.

and i wish i could talk about how much my friday has been.
i think i will:

ok so i'm hella white and my hair is jet black.
and well unlucky me i'm also really hairy.
so i'm a girl and i have facial hair.
IT SUCKS.
you know, i have this boyfriend (the "bad boy") who kisses my neck sometimes and today...well...he mentioned my facial hair.
i totally lost it.
i feel disgusting.
this really shouldn't be a big deal but its a big deal to me.
afterall i am mentally disturbed, if you haven't noticed.
i like my boys with long hair, my girls with short hair.
the man of my dreams will like the fact that i'm hairy and once my hair is long enough, we will have a sacred sexual act in which he shaves parts of my body.

i know, creepy right.
but to me, that's kinda sexy.
just click on previous posts and look for "phantasie" and i talk about haircuts. i think.
if i could, i'd shave half my hair off.
but i don't think i have a nice head, much less a pretty face in order to work with a crazy cut like that. (SIGHS...) IF ONLY...

NOW I'M SAD. AND COLD. :(

WELL MY TIME IS RUNNING OUT.
AUF WIEDERSEHEN!!!

2009-05-06T07:14:00.003-07:00

hallo!!!
its time for...
TODAY'S PICTURE OF THE DAY!!!!
YAY!!!^o^

TODAY'S PICTURE(S) ARE...

OMG OMG OMG!!!
THIS IS FROM THE MONSOON VIDEO!!!
XD

AND YESTERDAY'S PICTURE IS...

NOW THIS...IS WHAT I CALL SEXY...
A MAN WHO WILL GIVE YOU CANDY IF YOU GIVE HIM SEX.
WAIT, THAT SOUNDS A LITTLE DISTURBING...
OH THAT WOULD BE SO SWEET IF I GAVE MY INNOCENCE TO MY BOYFRIEND AND HE GAVE ME SOME CANDY (AS A THANK YOU)

BOY AM I CRAZY...

So yesterday i went to the doctor's and it was extremely boring.
i waited two hours there...>(

well at least we know nothing's wrong with me... ;)
and OMG I got an email saying that tokio hotel came out with a shirt and its so funny. it says "ROCKHARD. F***SAFE"
ISN'T THAT CLEVER???
so i will definitely buy that.
it says the profits go to causes against AIDS or something like that.
i think its awesome.
if only i had money...

2009-05-05T07:01:00.000-07:00

hallo!!!
lately i've been writing letters to c***.
i'd post but i don't have any with me.

lately i've been pondering whether i'm depressed or not.
i mean i am depressed but i want to know if this is serious and if i can be diagnosed for it...

ok so i just visited this weird site and people left some weird comments.
CLICK HERE and scroll to the bottom to read the comments.

damn. i want to join a chat room. that would be so fun. sharing ideas with random people...but its blocked here..GRR....

so sorry i haven't been blogging lately. i just spend a lot of time doing other things. i might be back tomorrow. or not. whatever.

so like now i have to go finish my chemistry homework. YAY!!!^o^[NOT REALLY!!!]

TOODLES!!!! ;)

UPDATE

2009-04-30T15:13:00.000-07:00

ok so everything is really scary now.
swine flu, the economy
i wanted to watch the death note movie, the last 23 days of L.
but i don't want to go anymore.
i have to finish my game for spanish.
i don't feel good either.
i feel a bit naseaous.
did i spell that right???
i miss c***.
sometimes i think he doesn't care.
but then again it probably seems like i don't care.
i hate myself.
i wonder why he doesn't call anymore.
he said it was because he's sleepy
but yesterday he got a call and i'm pretty sure it was a girl and he told her to call him after nine.
i am so stupid.
i want to tell him to read this but its all sad stuff.
hardly ever any happy or good stuff.
well anyway i think i should get straight to today's picture...

DRUMROLL PLEASE...
TODAY'S PICTURE OF THE DAY IS...

BILL LOOKS REALLY HOT IN THIS PICTURE!!!!!!!<3

i love c***.
i know he loves me too.
but its so damn hard to get his attention.
i'm too boring.
i hate myself.

वेल्कोमे बेक!!!!!

2009-04-28T07:06:00.000-07:00

HALLO AGAIN!!!
lately i haven't been posting. i don't really know why.

ok so i just took a depression test and my results were 66%
this means that while i may be depressed, i can still cope with life.
so i guess i'm not that bad but still i get worried.

lately i've been obsessed with this manga/anime called HONEY AND CLOVER.
i also watched the movie yesterday. its pretty good. but not as good as the books.

there are so many pictures i want to post now....
here are some now...

TEE-HEE!!!<3

OH THIS PICTURE IS SO AWESOME!!!!!
I LOVE WHOEVER DID THIS!!!<3

OMG THIS IS SO FUNNY!!!!:)

OMG I WANT THIS MAGAZINE SO BAD!!!!!!!XD

OK SO I JUST OD'D WITH ALL THESE PICTURES AND I STILL HAVE SO MANY MORE!!!!^o^
I MIGHT AND MIGHT NOT BE BACK. PROBABLY NOT COS I'LL BE WITH MY BABY...HE'S A 'BAD BOY' TEE-HEE!!!<3
SO I WILL PROBABLY SEE YOU ALL TOMORROW!!!!
AU REVOIR!!!
FAREWELL!!!
AUF WIEDERSEHEN!!!
HEY THIS ISN'T GOODBYE FOREVER!!!!>(
BYE!!!:)

SaDnEsS JoUrNaL EnTrY #6,784

2009-04-16T11:36:00.000-07:00

GUTEN ABENDS!
ok so I've been dragging myself up and down today. this morning was ok. a little sad but ok. lunch was boring. after school was sad and happy. AGAIN I isolated myself. (WHY DO I DO THAT?!?!?!?!) I'm SUCH A LONER. I just sat there and read. they keep telling me to take charge but i can't because i have ZERO CONFIDENCE and so much fear and I'm just so used to people taking advantage of me. Sedale always told me he was the only man i could ever get and i was lucky he stayed with me. He really put me down. I'd like to blame him for destroying my confidence but i don't know if i can. I remember one time he called me from John's house and told me he was leaving me for a girl who let him touch her breasts. Him and John laughed at me (and it hurt so much cos I had a HUGE crush on John and I felt so stupid and embarrassed.) I remember i cried so hard and i just wanted to DIE!! then an hour later he shows up at my doorstep and acts like were still a couple. then he called me that night and told me he was so sorry and he was just kidding and it would never happen again. and me like the idiot I am took him back (for the tenth time) only to let him hurt me again. and again. AND AGAIN. i don't now how many times he did this to me, breaking up with me then telling me he loved me and it would never happen again. I'm sure he did it at least a hundred times. For a whole year.

el 14 de Abril JoUrNaL EnTrY. 6:51pm

2009-04-15T12:20:00.000-07:00

for the last five minutes something has been bothering me.
C*** tells me he loves me, but he also used to be in love with a girl named patricia. I've never met her, and I hope I never do cos she is probably very pretty and has a nice body and does things I would never do. But probably the reason she really gets to me is because she and C*** had sex. and when we were going out he almost cheated on me with HER. I don't know what C***'s definition of cheating is (mine is getting in ANY type of physical contact and cybersex cos to me that's still being unfaithful). I'm afraid that she got all over him and he probably went along for a little before remembering me. Then a while ago after we broke up he told me that he would go to her house and get high and have sex. when he told me this it didn't bother me so much cos we weren't going out and even tho I still liked him, I didn't really think he still liked me. (I mean, I look totally ugly now and I'm pretty sure that compared to that Patricia girl I look like shit) But now we're friends with benefits and he tells me he loves me and it feels great but at the same time not so great because he could probably still be having sex with her (or other girls) and during those moments he's with her I wouldn't matter. I understand that he is a guy and has needs but I wish things were different. I guess I shouldn't be so upset about it cos after all I'm the idiot that broke up with him so of course he got lonely and now that he didn't have to worry about hurting me he could have sex with other people. and I also shouldn't be so upset because were not on any kind of commitment but it still kind of gets to me cos I really really like him and what if I DO fall in love with him and I'm so ready to let him take my innocence but I find out he's still with her and it will probably be the worst pain in the world and I don't want that. Plus he's the only guy I'm seeing and being in physical contact with and if someone else wanted to be with me in that way I would say no because it would break me and C***'s little connection and I would feel like I was being unfaithful to him. So this issue is kind of going both ways. I'm half-wrong and (i think) half-right.
I hope I'm mostly right and if he ever reads this he understands why I'm so upset and I also hope he doesn't feel offended or anything.

DeAr KyLe...DiArY EnTrY #76

2009-04-09T07:31:00.000-07:00

My DeArEsT KyLe,

yesterday i recieved some feedback from you about my blog. I want to thank you for taking the time out of your busy day to stop and read some of my nonesense. i recall that you commented, "who the hell is kuki??? are you cheating on me???" and my answer for you is that i am not exactly cheating on you cos i don't remember any commitment we had and i guess its too late to say that i am not cheating on you because yesterday afternoon i was extremely unfaithful to you.
now if you must know, my thoughts about yesterday, they are up and down. yesterday was so wonderful but i'm afraid of today and tomorrow and next week. anything could happen. anything at all. no this does not involve kuki and me at all. kuki is merely a classmate and nothing else. yes i have a stupid schoolgirl crush on him and it won't lead to anything. especially after yesterday.
yesterday i went to the library with a boy. (he didn't want to be alone so i had to go. you know how compassionate i am.) and at first it didn't seem like anything out of the ordinary. i mean yes he was messing with me A LOT but i just thought he was like that with other girls. (and he is but how does that make me any more special than they are???) so we went to the library and spent about two hours there and it was time to go home. now on the way home things got a bit more serious. a lot more intimate. it started with some playful pokes that led to some VERY GOOD massaging. but then a lady (always a lady!) stopped us and then we weren't so close to each other anymore. (AWKWARD!!!) but after a little while i ended up on his lap again where he massaged me some more and held my hand and well kissed me.
so the bus arrived, i swear he grabbed every body part i had when it arrived, and so we got on. then he wanted to sit in the back. it started with a few kisses that turned into more than a kiss and then WAY MORE THAN A KISS then it turned into WAY WAY MORE THAN A KISS. i mean yeah the kissing and petting and massaging was very intimate. but the most vivid part of the whole experience was when he told me that he loved me. I mean, he's told me he loves me before but i never heard him say it the way he said it yesterday. to tell you the truth, after i broke up with him i thought he hated me and i thought that he was over me. apparently not.
and now i regret breaking up with him in the first place. i remember the day i broke up with him was also the same day he confessed to me that he ALMOST cheated on me. to me "almost" was way too much. to me it meant that he was close but next time he would be closer. and i am THE jealous type. i don't think anyone compares to me when it comes to jealousy. so i broke up with him because i was so afraid that next time he would go through with it. and now i still feel bad. for breaking up with him and letting him do that to me. i don't know how i'm supposed to feel about this guy because honestly, i have no idea how how he feels about me. he says he loves me and i believe it but then there's that whole he loves you but he won't think twice about you before he cheats on you. and i don't want that. i want someone who will be faithful and loving (mostly faithful) and i'm afraid that he can be loving but at the same time i'm not the only one he will be loving with. so either i have trust issues, or that guy is more interested in physical stuff.
its hard to believe something from someone you don't know very well.
so my dear kyle, i hope this confession has not shattered your heart into pieces. remember that there are way more fish in the sea.

yours truly,
Marysol Miranda
(author of miranda madness)

el 8 de Abril picture

2009-04-08T11:06:00.000-07:00

its time for...
TODAY'S PICTURE OF THE DAY!!! YAY!! ^o^
DRUMROLL PLEASE...
TODAY'S PICTURE IS...

TEE-HEE!!!
BILL LOOKS PUZZLED...
I SAW THIS PICTURE IN A VIDEO ON YOUTUBE ONCE...

JoUrNaL EnTrY #642

2009-04-08T10:58:00.000-07:00

el 7 de Abril

ok so like i got this awesome book on astrology...

Pisces Mantra:
"I believe in my dreams, which are more real than reality. Because of my belief, I can paint with my mind, sing with my soul, and meditate the crap out of anything that's in my way."

according to this book, I am VERY SENSITIVE, I often ignore people the first time they try to talk to me, and I have a bubble around me and you must work hard to get inside of it. Its true, I am a sensitive, impressionable, and difficult to decode woman. I have this forcefield around me and I am empathetic. Also I have a tendency to change. Which is very true. I am constantly changing.

OMG! my sister just reminded me of this guy I used to know. He was and 8th grader and I was a 7th grader. He like totally had a crush on me but he didn't want to admit it. Then I gave him my VOLCOM backpack (skateboarding brand. he was a skater.) and a year later he came up to me and told me it ripped. TEE-HEE!!! Aaahh...good times. gosh i was such a beyotch back then. and yet, a lot of people liked me. I guess David was right. Bitches are kinda sexy.

JoUrNaL EnTrY #317 (not really)

2009-04-07T09:23:00.000-07:00

el 6 de Abril

"today was weird. For one thing, JESUS TOTALLY ASKED ME IF I WANTED TO GET HIGH WITH HIM...in fact, he seemed somewhat hopefull about it. lately he's been staring at me a lot. He is awfully cute so for a minute i almost said yes just so he could like me. I think I must be crazy to think he is actually interested in me. Cos i guess I am sort of interesting but I'm not exactly what you would call pretty...
Sometimes I wish I really were pretty so that KUKI would like me just a little bit more. I wish my eyes were blue so that when KUKI would look at me he'd stop and get caught up in my eyes for just a small moment.
Kuki looked sad today. it made me feel really sad, seeing him so sad. AND THEN HE DIDN'T SHOW UP IN SIXTH HOUR!!! WHY?!?! GOD I HATE IT WHEN HE DOES THAT!!! :( i hope he's okay.
MEIN <3 X-PLODES WHEN HE TOUCHES MEINE HAND!!! <3"

2009-04-07T09:18:00.000-07:00

ok so like here's a picture of me kissing my favorite book....

its hard trying to teach yourself a foreign language you know. it takes tons of practice, some TOKIO HOTEL music, and a fat german-english, english-german dictionary.
I LOVE DICTIONARIES!!! <3

yeah yeah i know. i'm some kinda witch cos i love books!!!
TEE-HEE!!! BOOKS MAKE ME HORMONAL!!!

2009-04-07T09:10:00.001-07:00

HALLO WEIDER!!!!
DID I SPELL THAT RIGHT???

OK SO ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I'VE LAST WRITTEN IN HERE!!!

FROM NOW ON I WILL POST JOURNAL ENTRIES ON THIS BLOG...
SO YOU WILL READ THE MOST PRIVAT THINGS IN MY LIFE...

SO LET'S NOT WASTE ANY TIME.
IT'S TIME FOR...
TODAY'S PICTURE OF THE DAY!!! YAY!!! ^o^

TODAY'S PICTURE IS...

BILL LOOKS REALLY HOT IN THIS ONE...<3
ok so like i met this lady at the store and it was so awesome!!!
she likes TOKIO HOTEL!!! YAY!!! <3
lately i've been meeting a lot of people who like TOKIO HOTEL...
IT'S NICE TO KNOW THAT I'M NOT ALONE...

2009-04-03T17:25:00.000-07:00

GUTEN TAG!!!
ok so let's get straight to it...
its time for...
TODAY'S PICTURE OF THE DAY!!! YAY!!! ^o^
TODAY'S PICTURE IS...

WOUP WOUP!!!!
LOOKIN SEXII BILL!!! <3

ok so like i'm on ebay and i am so close to buying schrei!!!
oh i want it so bad!!! i have to ask my mommy first though.
i'm afraid i won't be posting much because there seems to be a virus going around...
i am going to really miss you guys!!!!
[that is if anyone even bothers to read this...]

so i am afraid that this is all i have for you today...

BIS BALD!!! <3

2009-04-02T11:19:00.000-07:00

TAG!!!
ok so there's this awesome website called tokiohoteldoesamerica.com and i just love love LOVE IT!!!

AND NOW LET'S GET STRAIGHT TO IT...
ITS TIME FOR...
TODAY'S PICTURE OF THE DAY!!! YAY!!! ^o^
DAS HEUTIGE BILD VOM TAG IST...

OMIGOD THIS PICTURE IS SO FREAKING HILARIOUS!!!
(this picture was brought to you today by this website)

ok so like i am running out of time...
how sad.
Es tut mir leid but i have to get going.
i don't want to fail spanish!!!!
hopefully i'll be back tomorrow...
AUF WIEDERSEHEN!!!

2009-04-01T07:20:00.000-07:00

HALLO JEDER!!!!
OH ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I'VE BEEN IN THE SCHOOL'S COMPUTER LAB.
ok so in about half an hour I will have to take a three hour test.
:(
but oh well. i will enjoy my time for now.
ok so if you have been patiently waiting for a translation of sex well here is what i have so far...

Irgendwie weiß ich genau,(somehow I know exactly,)
du bist eine wunderbare Frau. (you are a wonderful woman)

ok now that doesn't exactly make sense...
anyway thats part of the first verse.
this translating thing is difficult.

ok so now i'm looking at clothes by TAKUYA ANGEL. they are very pretty.
and now i'm looking at VIVIENNE WESTWOOD clothes. they are also very pretty.
(SIGHS...) IF ONLY I COULD MAKE CLOTHES THAT GOOD.

ok so now i have no idea what to look at besides clothes and pictures of Bill.

which reminds me that its time for...
TODAY'S PICUTRE OF THE DAY!!!! YAY!!! ^o^
DRUMROLL PLEASE...
TODAY'S PICTURE IS...

TEE-HEE!!! BILL LOOKS HIGH IN THIS ONE!!
I WONDER IF KUKI WOULD LIKE THIS PICTURE...

OH I MISS KUKI.
I WON'T GET TO SEE HIM TODAY!!! :(
yesterday he told me he would give me his nail once it fell off.
i thought it was so sweet even tho that probably sounds creepy!!!
yeah so like kuki looked really hot yesterday. i wish he would wear black more often.
black makes people look very flattering...

well this is all i can post for right now.
i hope i can post more soon.
BIS BALD!!! <3

EgAdS!!!!!

2009-03-29T14:54:00.000-07:00

EGADS!!!
I WAS LISTENING TO A TOKIO HOTEL SONG IN GERMAN AND I THOUGHT IT WAS CALLED HALLO BUT REALLY ITS TRUE NAME IS:
SEX!!!

SO THEN I TRIED TO TRANSLATE THE LYRICS AND IT TURNS OUT THE SONG IS KINDA TWISTED.
UNFORTUNATELY, THE TRANSLATOR DOES NOT DO A VERY GREAT JOB OF TRANSLATING SO I WILL HAVE TO TRANSLATE IT MYSELF!!!
I WILL TRY TO HAVE WEEKLY RESULTS OF THE SONG AND HOPEFULLY I CAN FIGURE OUT WHAT IT MEANS....

PLEASE KEEP ME IN YOUR PRAYERS!!!

KuKi

2009-03-29T14:29:00.000-07:00

ok so as you all know...
I AM IN LOVE WITH KUKI!!!
Ich BIN VERLIEBT IN KUKI!!!

here is a story to prove it:

"on friday i got my blood taken out. they told me i had to stay seated at least fifteen minutes before i went to class. well they pretty much took away all the time i was to spend with kuki!!! so as soon as i could leave i bolted to class just to see kuki for a few minutes. i could have fainted!!! but it was all worth it...yes siree. so i got there and i told him what happened and he was so jealous!!! he also wanted to get his blood taken out (mostly for the faintness that followed it) but he couldn't for he had a tattoo. i saw it!!! YAY!!! he told me to shut up about it.. TEE-HEE!!! <3 so then he just asked if he could cut his arm and if they could suck his blood from that. I WOULD HAVE DONE IT!!! I WOULD HAVE SUCKED HIS BLOOD LIKE I WAS A FAMISHED VAMPIRE!!! anything for kuki!!!<3"

so anyway...that's my story about how i risked my consciousness just to see kuki for a few minutes. IT WAS SO WORTH SEEING HIS FACE AND A PEEK AT HIS TATTOO AND JUST BREATHING AIR BESIDE HIM (HIS SCENT IS THAT OF LAUNDRY DETERGENT) ALL FOR ONLY A MERE TEN MINUTES OR SO!!!!

2009-03-29T14:04:00.000-07:00

hallo everyone!!! :)
so like i didn't post a picture on friday...
I'M SO SORRY!!!!

SO FRIDAY'S PICTURE OF THE DAY IS...
OH DEAR...
I CANNOT POST ANY PICTURES.
DARN IT!!! >(
HOLD ON...
WELL HERE IS A SHORTCUT FOR NOW:
http://www.youngmalecelebs.net/galleries/kaulitz/Bkaulitz021.jpg

ok so now may I have a drumroll please...
FRIDAY'S PICTURE IS...

TEE-HEE!!!
BILL IS SAYING: OH SHIT!!!

AND NOW FOR TODAY'S PICTURE....

TEE-HEE!!!
BILL LOOKS SURPRISED. <3

SO I'M HERE AT THE library again doing what i always do.
listen to music, look at bill, wish and wish i had money to spend on the internets...
if only...(sighs...)
i am not very comfortable at the moment for the headphones i am using don't work very well...
(sighs...)
lately i've been very depressed.
probably because i spend my school lunches alone and i don't have my usb anymore and i am in love with someone who will never love me back because we are so different.
so right now my life kinda sucks.
the only time i am happy is when:
A)i am surrounded by books
B)i am listening to tokio hotel (in german)
C)when i am near kuki (love of my life!!)

so as you can see this is not a very happy time for me....

2009-03-27T07:13:00.000-07:00

GUTEN MORGEN!!! ;)
yesterday was quite scary...
all class period my chemistry teacher was yelling, then we had an incident at school [the power went off] and we were told to evacuate the building and people were screaming and talking and pushing and i felt claustrophobic and it was hard to breathe. Then at night i was afraid to take a shower because it was quite windy and i didn't want to get struck by lightning and then my bedroom window was broken so i could hear the wind and a bunch of weird noises and i was paranoid that my window would shatter at any moment and the wind would send the shards of glass straight to my body and i would bleed to death.
so overall yesterday was scary.

this morning feels pretty dull.
although this is one of my daily hilights.
my favorite part of the [school] day is when i get to sit next to kuki. <3
ok so now you know...
ICH BIN VERLIEBT IN KUKI!!! <3
i was so afraid that he would ditch yesterday.
but luckily he had no one to ditch with so he stayed.
YAY!!! ^o^
although i would have ditched with him and we would go to the bookstore and i would show him my favorite books and maybe find some sexual position books and he would get excited. XD
now i miss kuki...:(

well i'll be back later.
BIS BALD!!!

BoYfRiEnD

2009-03-26T07:12:00.000-07:00

GUTEN MORGEN!!!
I Don't know if i will be blogging this afternoon for i have bought a brand new book and i am so in love with it...
ICH BIN DIE BÜCHERWURM!!!

OK SO LET'S JUST GET STRAIGHT TO IT...
ITS TIME FOR...
TODAY'S PICTURE OF THE DAY!!! YAY!!!
DRUMROLL PLEASE...
TODAY'S PICTURE IS...

GAWD BILL LOOKS SO HOT!!! <3
THIS IS THE KIND OF BOY I WOULD LIKE TO DATE.
SOMEONE WHO DRESSES VERY NICELY AND LOOKS SO DAMN FINE AND CAN BE BOTH CRAZY AND NICE AND SEXY AND ACT LIKE A CHILD...
(SIGHS...)

ICH LIEBE BILL!!! <3

jOuRnAl EnTrY

2009-03-25T10:58:00.000-07:00

yesterday i was having a bad day.
since i got no one to talk to i will share with you guys [do people even read this sh*t?!] what i wrote as i was very devastated...

"Today has not been so great. I didn't get to blog, I don't have enough money for the book I want, I bought the most retarted DISGUSTING coffee EVER!!! and worst of all...
i got no man (or woman) to complain to. Johnathan was right. I do need a boyfriend. Like a very loving boy. One who understands me and doesn't mind my foolish chatter. Someone who will treat me like a little girl AND a woman. someone...
Is it just me, or are the days getting lonelier??? I'm tired of today. Let me go home so I can fall asleep and go to dreamland. Somewhere I long to go. I think I will meditate tomorrow. No doubt about it. I need to open one of my chakras. perhaps the first one.
I think I am in love with KUKI. He is very good looking and wears glasses (glasses fetish) and he is a NERD. Even though he tries not to be, he still is. Like today when he tripped over my lunchbox (SQUEALS!!!) THAT WAS HOT!!!<3 It made ME hot at least. TEE-HEE!!!<3 Well I must finish my homework now."

I wrote that on the bus on the way home.

2009-03-25T10:46:00.000-07:00

I WAS just looking at some pictures of bill and i noticed that he has beautiful hazel eyes. they are so light and almondy. mmm...

so let's not dwaddle anymore. ITS TIME FOR...
TODAY'S PICTURE OF THE DAY!!! YAY!!!^o^
DRUMROLL PLEASE...
TODAY'S PICTURE IS..

OH GAWD THIS PICTURE IS SO SEXY!!!^o^
LOOK AT HIM EAT THOSE GRAPES...
ITS SO SENSUAL...SO EROTIC...
THANKS TO BILL GRAPES ARE NOW OFFICIALLY A SEXY FOOD!!! ^o^
YAY!!!

I REALLY LOVE THE WAY BILL DRESSES. HE IS ALWAYS NICELY DRESSED...

so like this morning i came to the lab and this dude was watching VIDEOS.
i wanted to watch some too but it didn't work.
WAH!!!
i'd ask how to watch a video but i don't want his friends to be snotty at me.[they stare at her on the bus]

yeah so its lunch time and i have no idea when its time to go inside. no worries tho cos my classroom is right next door.

now i really want some grapes.

so like today after school i'm gonna buy a book full of pictures of gothic lolis on the streets!!! YAY!!! i am dying for some inspiration here....
ooh it is so beautiful the book!!!

2009-03-25T07:19:00.001-07:00

GUTEN MORGEN JEDER!!!

unfortunately i couldn't blog yesterday. :(
the computer lab was closed. :(
so here i am today feeling kinda down.
i just realized that i have not been eating much.
but hopefully today i will.
ok so some guy is watching videos on youtube and i wanna watch.
hold on...

ok so i got on youtube but idk if its working.
i sure hope is does..
DAMMIT!!! HOW COME IT WORKS FOR THOSE BOZOS AND NOT ME????
WHY???!!!
oh well i must go now.
i need to finish my stupid homework.
in the meantime here's a picture of miyavi...

MiYaVi

2009-03-23T11:48:00.000-07:00

ok everyone!!!
I'M IN LOVE WITH MIYAVI!!!!
HE IS SO SO SO SO SO SO PRETTY!!!!!
JUST LOOK AT HIM!!!

TEE-HEE!! THAT PICTURE'S KINDA DIRTY...
HERE'S ANOTHER ONE...

OMIGOD!!!
I THINK I'M IN DER LIEBE...<3
BUT WHAT ABOUT BILL???
YES I STILL LOVE HIM VERY MUCH...<3
AND NOW IF I POST PICTURES OF MIYAVI ON MYSPACE THAT REALLY HOT GIRL WON'T WANT TO TALK TO ME... :(
SO HERE I AM ALL ALONE AND WISHING SOMEONE AS BEAUTIFUL AS MIYAVI DIDN'T EXIST...BECAUSE HE HAS ME HOT FOR HIM...
TEE-HEE!!!
WELL THE BELL JUST RANG SO I GOTTA GO.
AUF WIEDERSEHEN!!!

2009-03-23T11:33:00.000-07:00

Guten Tag!!!
i'm back and again i'm looking at pictures of Miyavi.
[wait, your not looking at bill???]
surprisingly not. and why is that???
oh i am such a slut, first i like bill then kuki, then bill, and now miyavi!!!
I AM SO SORRY BILL!!!
ES TUT MIR LEID!!!!
WELL I REALLY SHOULD STOP THINKING ABOUT MIYAVI AND HOW HE LOOKS BOTH LIKE A GIRL AND A GUY...
I AM REALLY GETTING OFF TOPIC HERE...

OK SO NOW ITS TIME TO CONTINUE WITH TODAY'S PICTURE OF THE DAY!!!
YAY!!! ^o^
DRUMROLL PLEASE...
DAS HEUTIGE BILD IST...

OH THIS PICTURE IS SO, SO...
PRECIOUS!!! <3
YES BILL, YOU ARE VERY VERY PRECIOUS...
AND THE MAMMI YOUR TALKING ABOUT IS ME RIGHT??

2009-03-23T07:13:00.000-07:00

Guten Morgen Jeder!!!
mein weekend was boring.
i only went to the library (yay!) and watched like a hundred videos of bill.

ok so i'm on the internets and i am looking at pictures of this really hot guy.
his name is miyavi...
here's a picture of him now:

ISN'T HE PRETTY??!!!! <3
I LOOK FORWARD TO LISTENING TO HIS MUSIK.

ok so i think i've just fallen in love with this miyavi person.
i have to go now but i will be back soon.
BIS BALD!

2009-03-21T11:29:00.000-07:00

hallo jeder!!!
i'm back again.
and now its time for...
TODAY'S PICTURE OF THE DAY!!!
YAY!!! ^o^
DRUMROLL PLEASE...
TODAY'S PICTURE OF THE DAY IS...

I DON'T THINK I'VE POSTED THIS PICTURE YET..
HAVE I???
OH DEAR, I'VE LOST TRACK OF MY PICTURE POSTING...OH WELL
ANYWAY, BILL LOOKS SO FABULOUSLY GOTHIC CHIC IN THIS PICTURE!!!
TEE-HEE!!! <3

ok so as you all know, i'm teaching myself german so that if i ever meet BILL<3 i can have a conversation with him....
so far this is all i know:
Guten tag. wie geht es ihnen?
ich bin Marysol. ich bin sechzen.
das tut meir leid.
auf wiedersehen!!!

well i think i know more but that's all i have from the top of my head.
maybe i will start a new blog where i write in mostly german...
if only...

so yesterday i found this awesome website. its called tokio hotel does america.com and its so AWESOME!!!
CLICK HERE TO VISIT.

2009-03-20T12:09:00.000-07:00

HALLO JEDER!!!
I'm back and i'm in a much better mood.
we had an assembly today and it was very funny!!!
my favorite part was the end when these guys were dressed very girly and they were dancing an it was so funny!!!

and then my stupid lab partner hit me and got me in trouble and then the teacher hit me and he is just the worst lab partner ever!!!
i really do miss kuki now. i haven't seen him today yet. :(
and just in case you were wondering his present did not dissapoint!!!

well now let's get straight down to business...
DRUMROLL PLEASE...
TODAY'S PICTURE OF THE DAY IS...

BILL LOOKS VERY SERIOUS IN THIS PICTURE.
JUST IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING WHAT IT SAYS IN THE PICTURE...
THE TRANSLATION IS:
2004 FALL THE HAIR IS SOMETHING ELSE LOOSER...
AT LEAST I THINK THAT'S WHAT IT SAYS...
SO ANYWAY...
DAMMIT I RAN OUT OF TIME.
PERHAPS I SHALL SEE YOU ALL TOMORROW.
UNTIL THEN!
BIS BALD!!!

Entschuldigung (apology)

2009-03-20T07:09:00.000-07:00

guten morgen jeder.
this morning is turning out to be not so much of a good morning for me.
oh i am so stupid. do you know what i just did???
i was walking up the stairs and when i got to the top a teacher just came out of the elevator. instead of opening the door for her i just went inside not thinking about whether she was following in or not.
OH I FEEL SO ASHAMED!!!!!!!!!!!!
DON'T LOOK AT ME I'M A MONSTER!!!
I'M A HOPELESS CASE!!!
OH WHY AM I SO HORRIBLE!!!
I FEEL REALLY BAD NOW. I FEEL I MUST BOW DOWN AND BEG FOR FORGIVENESS OF THAT WOMAN!!!
i hope she forgives me. especially after that really lame apology i squeaked out when i realized i left her behind. i feel so rude. :(
perhaps my horoscope was wrong and things today will be as sad as always. :(
i am sad now. a morning ruined!

and also i must apologize for yesterday.
I DID NOT POST A PICTURE OF THE DAY!!!
I AM SO SORRY!!!!
SO TODAY I WILL POST TWO PICTURES!!!
DRUMROLL PLEASE...
YESTERDAY'S PICTURE OF THE DAY IS....

THIS PICTURE IS REALLY WEIRD...
WHY DOES TOM CRUISE GET TO TOUCH BILL???
HE ISN'T HOT!!!!!
I WISH THAT WERE ME...
WELL NONETHELESS BILL LOOKS AS HANDSOME AS ALWAYS...

ALLISON

2009-03-19T07:17:00.000-07:00

ok so i was watching America's Next Top Model yesterday [I love that show!!!] and i got so scared cos i was afraid that Allison was going to be sent home.
Allison is my favorite model right now.
here is a picture of her....

isn't she so pretty!!!!
and her eyes!!!
ooh i love her so much!!! <3

2009-03-18T12:25:00.000-07:00

hallo wieder!!!
ok so i'm back and its time for...
TODAY'S PICTURE OF THE DAY. YAY!!!!
DRUMROLL PLEASE...
TODAY'S PICTURE IS...

OH BILL LOOKS SO PRETTY!!!! HE IS SO HOT!!!
AAAHH!!!!! I SWEAR IF I EVER WENT TO A TOKIO HOTEL CONCERT I'D LOSE MY VOICE THE FIRST FIVE MINUTES OF THE SHOW!!! ^o^

so here i am again in the computer lab cos i got no one to hang out with...(sigh..)
i hope kuki brought my present. [probably forgot again cos i didn't see it!!!] yes he still hasn't given it to me and i am DYING! to know what it is.
my horoscope told me that i would get headaches because i was stressed and it turned out to be true. i never thought i was ever stressed but now that i think of it i have to much stuff on my mind. so many duties to fulfill. like i got school, german, crochet, music, bill obsessing, sewing, and reading!!! i can only do so much in one day!!!

so i guess this blog is my favorite thing to do now cos i take the bus at 6:30am and let me tell you that box on wheels is packed!!!
school really sux now. i feel like such a loser this year. i don't have any close friends, i'm a loner at lunch, too many hopeless boyfriends, hopeless short crushes, grades that are sinking, not enough practice on my instruments, no reading, and overall i'm just getting lonelier and lonelier as the days go by. my life has really sunk down. the only good part of my day is when i'm in front of this computer screen typing about bill and my pathetic self and most importantly finding a worthy picture of the day.[she could do that for hours without end]
so i guess my life sucks now.
doesn't everybody's???
yeah i guess so but everyone is too caught up in themselves that they don't seem to care about anyone else. yeah people sure are selfish.
so i sure hope that kuki brought my present. anything from him will be a treasure.[even if its illegal cos you just luv him that much!]
dammit the bell just rang.
bye!

2009-03-18T09:39:00.000-07:00

hallo jeder!!!
i've been looking at pictures of bill for the last half hour or so. and i found the loveliest pictures of bill!! <3
here is one now...

this picture is really weird...
so like the bell's gonna ring in a little bit so i'll say good-bye.
AUF WIEDERSEHEN!!!

2009-03-17T11:27:00.000-07:00

hallo jeder!!!
Ich bin hinter und jetzt seine Zeit für.....
DAS HEUTIGE BILD VOM TAG!! YAY!! ^o^
DAS HEUTIGE BILD IST....

OH YEAH!!!!
THIS PICTURE IS BY FAR THE SEXIEST MOST SENSUAL EROTIC ORGASMIC VAGINA-CRUSHING PICTURE YET!!!!
TEE-HEE!!!
EXCUSE MY DISTURBING COMMENTS. TEE-HEE!!! ;)

OK so the first part of today's blog was all in german.
yes i admit i was cheating but its just that i get sick of english sometimes...
so today i made the picture of the day extra special by narrating in german.

so its st. patty's day 2009!
woo-hoo!!! :)
there's this big celebration at this restaurant that's being hosted by the radio station i listen to and i kind of wish i would have ditched school to go cos i get so lonely at school just sitting there at lunch eating by myself trying not to look so lonely. and now chemistry isn't as fun anymore now that kuki moved.
WAH!!!! :(
i really do miss kuki. he smells very nice. mmmm....kuki... :P

so now i have to wait until sixth hour to drool over kuki. and dammit i forgot to call him this morning to remind him to bring my present!!! i really really really can't wait any longer!!! i think i'll stalk him and steal it from his house so that i know where he lives and maybe i can walk by and look through his bedroom window and hopefully he'll be naked or something...if only....(sighs...)

so losyram seems to be on vacation...[yeah right i'm still here you dunce bucket!!!]
oh yeah. your just awfully quiet. perhaps my melancholy has gotten you down also.
:(
:(
:(
:(
:(
:(
:(
:(
:(
nine is my lucky number so i try to use it as often as possible.
so tomorrow is a late start. i really miss half days... now i can't waste the rest of my day at the bookstore. WAAHH!!! i really wanted to kill some time there reading and looking through all those wonderful books. but i guess i'll just stay home and sew or make amigurumi.

so like i have this friend on myspace and she sent me this girl's profile and i think that i have found the love of my life!!!<3
my friend says that she's obsessed with tokio hotel. i wonder which one is her favorite...hmm...so i think i'll try talking to her. i've never had a girlfriend before...

so now i feel really cold. i mean i'm wearing a jacket but is still feel cold. probably cos i'm typing so my hands are exposed... i hope i'm not late for class again.
i think i will look at bill some...he always makes me feel better. sometimes i think he's the only thing that makes me happy. besides kuki and that annoying freshman.
so i will see you all tomorrow i guess.
BIS MORGEN!!!
ok now that one i knew..

2009-03-17T07:13:00.000-07:00

ok so right now i'm on ravendigitalis.com and its so awesome!!! ^o^
i only read some of goth craft and i really liked it.

ok so like today is saint patrick's day and i am wearing a green skirt and knee high socks and i feel weird cos i'm not wearing my tights today...

so i promised you guys pictures of me yesterday. here they are...

THIS IS A PICTURE OF ME IN A RAINCOAT.

TEE-HEE! I LOOK FUNNY IN THAT ONE.
HERE'S ONE OF ME WHEN I HAD LONG HAIR...

I MISS THAT LONG HAIR. AND I DON'T. MY HAIR IS ALWAYS CHANGING...
AND NOW HERE'S A PICTURE OF A WATERMELON COOKIE I HAD LAST WEEK...

TEE-HEE! THAT COOKIE WAS TOO SWEET.

SO I FEEL A BIT NERVOUS LOOKING AT RAVEN'S WEBSITE. I'M NOT EXACTLY WHAT YOU CALL GOTH CRAFT MATERIAL. I THINK I WILL HAVE TO READ HIS OTHER BOOKS IN ORDER TO REALLY BE A FAN OF HIM. I REALLY LIKE HIM. HE'S LIKE REALLY SUCCESSFUL AND HE DOES ALL KINDS OF STUFF. I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO HEAR HIS MUSIC TOO.

so if you were wondering why i was on his website, its cos i always take little notes on my phone and so now i will finally do every single one of them (not really).
ok so now i'm looking at pictures of bill and tom and its like the only thing i do...
so the bell's gonna ring in about ten minutes...
ok so the bell's about to ring.
don't worry i'll be back with the picture of the day soon!!!
bye-bye!!!

"MELANCHOLIE"

2009-03-16T11:32:00.000-07:00

OK so its official.
i am a loner and a loser.
no one likes me.
yes i talk to people but they don't seem to care.
(SIGHS...)
I am very sad now.
kuki isn't my lab partner anymore.
i feel like crying. :(
WAAAHH!!!
can i die now????
no dying is not the way out of things.
no siree...
so what now???
perhaps i shall move to germany.
i might fit in well.
but then again i have black hair so not really.
oh how i wish i could take it all back!
i really miss john jack.
hey that rhymmed. weird...
if he every came to school i would be his best friend!!!
that is if he wanted me to...
(SIGHS...)
OK SO NOW ITS TIME FOR A VERY SAD PICTURE OF THE DAY...
TODAY'S PICTURE IS...

HOW COULD YOU BILL???!!!!!!
OH THIS PICUTE IS SO HEART BREAKING!!! THIS IS THE WORST PICTURE OF BILL EVER!!!!!!!!
I REALLY MEAN THAT.
I'M SORRY BILL BUT YOU SHOULDN'T BE SMOKING. AT ALL!! IT'S BAD FOR YOUR VOCAL CHORDS AND ALSO YOU HAD THAT SURGERY SO I SUGGEST YOU BE CAREFUL!!!
HOW SAD THAT THIS REMINDS ME OF JOHN. HE WAS A REALLY BIG POTHEAD. I GUESS ALL THE LOVES OF MY LIFE HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM.
SMOKING.
:( :( :( :( :(
I AM VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY SAD NOW.
I HAVEN'T FELT THIS WAY EVER SINCE...YOU KNOW WHO. HE REALLY KNEW HOW TO PUT A GIRL DOWN. GAVE HER HIGH HOPES ONLY TO CRUSH THEM VERY HARSHLY. I WONDER IF HE'S DOING THAT TO ANY OF HIS CURRENT GIRLFRIENDS RIGHT NOW.

TEE-HEE!!!
i just remembered this one time when i used to help out at the library at school.
i was shelving some books and this guy out of nowhere says, "IT'S ALL YOU". i was like WTF?? but that kid was kind of cute so i smiled and said huh? and he got all nervous and i just thought it was the cutest thing!!!

and then yesterday i was listening to the radio and there was this commercial and they always play some kind of tune in the background. and then i recognized the tune and it was tokio hotel!!! i was like whoah! that's tokio hotel!!! i got all excited and wondered if they could get sued for using their song. i wonder if i told bill and he would be like, "oh i'm suing him". and then he'd pay me a big reward and give me a big smooch and say, "thank you so much dearie! you are mein hero!!!" and it would be the happiest day of my life meeting him. and then i'd ask him to sign my arm so i can get it tattooed so i'll always have his signature with me and it would be very clever.
and i just have too many thoughts of bill. my life is so sad. his pictures aren't enough. neither is his voice. i saw this video on youtube once and it made me very sad because it was about how someone could not love bill just be seeing videos of him and stuff.
so now here i am. a loser at a high school all by myself sitting in a computer lab typing on a screen no one will ever read. no one cares about my foolish chatter.
its all stupid. stupid! stupid! stupid!
darn its almost time to go. how sad.
this is the only thing that makes me happy.
it really is. this computer is the only thing that listens to me. how sad.
so i might not be here after school so i will write more tomorrow.
until then!

2009-03-16T07:35:00.000-07:00

hallo!!!
its the first day of school.
boo!!! >(
oh well at least i get to blog again..
i was gonna post some pictures of myself but i need to send them to my email then save them and the process is just so long and my phone is very slow so it will have to wait.
but for now lets ponder about something else.
ok so i'm looking at clothes at maruione.jp and they are so beautiful but i don't have a credit card so i can't buy them...(sigh..)
so its time for me to go...
see you soon!!!^o^

PHANTASIE (FANTASY)

2009-03-13T16:38:00.000-07:00

WARNING: the following is a very disturbing extended thought...

ok. so like i got a new haircut...

do you like it????
idk what it is about haircuts but i find them sexy. the thought of cutting and shaving parts of a person is just an interesting thought for me. tee-hee! i saw an ad for an erotic hair cut. i thought that i should get one. lol...
yeah...i'd like bill to cut my hair...
i'd be sitting at that chair and he'd be wearing nothing but cowboy boots and a cowboy hat and omigod it would be so sexy!!! tee-hee! then he'd-

ok so i'm watching this video its so cute!!!

dammit!!! i couldn't post it. its blocked...

so i went to hot topic last week.
YAY!!! :)
i got some sweet stuff

new gloves. and....

A TOKIO HOTEL SHIRT!!!!!!
YAY!!!<3

so now i'm listening to heilig agian..
oh its so beautiful!!!!
and now i'm listening to geh
i have no idea what it means.
ok so i just tried to translate it but it makes no sense!!!
perhaps once i am fluent in german i shall understand it but for now oh well...

so i'm really into crochet now.
i made a sperm yesterday...tee-hee!!
i showed my mom and she was like, get outta here!!!
sometimes i feel bad that i'm her daughter. i must be such a pain...

and holy crap i almost forgot today's picture of the day!!!
so drumroll please...
TODAY'S PICTURE OF THE DAY IS...

OH THIS IS SO PRECIOUS!!!<3
this is tokio hotel befor they were tokio hotel...
this was back then when they were develish...
SO CUTE!!!!<3

right now i'm listening to a song called hallo and i have no idea if this is sung by bill or not. i'm pretty sure it is but i have no idea..

ok so now i'm watching schrei and its getting me pissed!!!>(
[why??? i thought you liked tokio hotel]
SHUT UP!!! LOOK AT ALL THOSE STUPID GIRLS DRINKING AND ALL OVER HIM!!!
GET OFF HIM HE'S MINE!!! :(
i wonder how old bill is in this video...
hmm..........
i really need to look into their carreer more...

so my time is almost up for today...
hopefully i will have more pictures to post [of bill] next time.
so good-bye everyone!!!
auf wiedersehen!!![did i spell that right???]

2009-03-13T16:27:00.000-07:00

HALLO!!!!
ITS BEEN SO LONG!!!
Yeah i know only a couple of days but still, this is like my drug man. i love talking [not really] about bill [oh him, yeah but no one listens so you type instead]. yeah just in case you were wondering that person who speaks in the brackets,[], is my other half, losyram. she will give you the negativo point of view of my thoughts...
so i'm at the biblioteca and i've been here for over an hour... i was not so happy but now i'm listening to bill [for the umpteenth time!] and i feel much better.
i think this is my new favourite song...
ich bin nicht ich wenn du nicht bei mir bist!!! bin nicht allein!!!

2009-03-09T15:27:00.000-07:00

hallo wieder!!!
ok i'm back and i'm in a much better mood.
i'm listening to tokio hotel.
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!

frei im friein fall!!!!!
ok me so happy now. i feel a bit safer listening to bill's beautiful voice. i feel a bit more normal. a bit more sane(she's really a crackhead!!!)

OMIGOD OMIGOD OMIGOD!!!
OOH I LOVE THIS SONG. IF ONLY I KNEW HOW TO SING IT. AND I AM DYING TO HAVE THE CD THAT CARRIES THIS SONG!!!!! IF ONLY......

ICH BIN NICHT ICH WENN DU NICHT BEI MIR BIST!!! BIN NICHT ALLEIN. UN DAS WAS JETZT NOCH VON MEHR ÜBRIGE IST!!! BIN ICH NICHT MEHR SEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3

so if i could i'd post this song but i have no idea how to....
or maybe i do..hold on.....

YAAAY!!!!! IT WAS SUCCESSFUL!!!!!
NOW PLEASE WATCH IT OR AT LEAST HEAR THE BEAUTIFUL SONG PLAYED THROUGHOUT IT!!!!
PLEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAASE!!!!!!! I BEG OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TEEHEE!!!

ok here's reden its so freaking funny. especially the beginning!!

i love this video so much!<3
especially the end. TEE-HEE!!!
those of you who know me well know exactly why...

ok so now i'm listening to Geh!
i love this song so much!!!!!!!
if only there were a way to download this song onto my phone or something where i could constantly hear it....if only....

alles ich und du
Geh, Geh...

ok so i'm at a different location at the library and i'm surrounded by super hotties!!!!
well this sure is getting my mind off of kuki!
(nervously)heh...heh...um....

Geh, GEH!!!!<3

There's this person who has photos of bill and their signature is fuckmeekaulitz. i like that name. TEE-HEE!!!<3
YEAH....

i feel like i've run out of words...i feel sad here...for many reasons...mostly confusion and disappointment(in myself)
so if i could i'd screech out:
GEH GEH!!!
just like bill!<3
when i think about bill or listen to his music i am happy because:
he will never hurt me
his voice is so beautiful!!!!!!!!!
<3<3<3<3<3
by the way if you wondering what all those <3 were, they are hearts....

2009-03-09T14:39:00.000-07:00

hallo jeder.
i am feeling very low right now.
today is not my day.

i am very afraid of everything.
seriously!
everything is so freaking scary!!!
WHY?!?!?! :(

so here i am at the library again.
no school this week. WHOO HOO!!!
but oh i long to go back. for i miss the computer lab and kuki.
lately i've been thinking about him A LOT.

i've known him for a year and i've never paid this much attention to him.
i think i'm going crazy.

so i really can't wait to see what he got me for my birthday!!!
i'm dying just thinking about it(him).

and i am so pissed off cos there are no headphones on this computer. in fact, this computer seems to be broken!
so i guess this means no tokio hotel in german today.

i think i'm gonna cry....
;(
that's me crying.

I'd go ask for headphones but i am too afraid.
so i think i'll just look at bill some.

Ok so for some reason i just went to kuki's profile and started giggling when i saw his pictures which by the way he does not have much variety of :(
this is not like me. i only giggle when i see bill!!!
i have a bad feeling about this crush.

Ich lasse ein zerquetschen auf kuki!!!

this is not good. just when i thought i was an independent "woman", here comes this dude who completely knocks me off my feet. i shouldn't even be writing about this stupid crush. great now i have that david archuleta song in my head.

ok so i guess i'll go straight to today's picture of the day...
(sorry if it sounds flat but)
DRUMROLL PLEASE...
TODAY'S PICTURE OF THE DAY IS...

THIS PICTURE DESCRIBES WHAT I LOOK LIKE RIGHT NOW COS I FEEL SO STRESSED...
first i can't listen to music, then i can't save pictures, i can't buy online, and i just want to burn the whole world right now!!!!
i'm sorry but i think i am having a childish tantrum. i get these a lot usually when i don't get what i want.
many people think of me as a crybaby. i probably am. always crying and pouting and just being a baby!!!!
i just want to fall out of my chair, pound the ground and scream and cry and just be a big baby cos that's how i deal with things sometimes.
great my foot just fell asleep. i think i might go ask for headphones.

2009-03-07T10:05:00.000-08:00

ICH BIN Mürrisch heute.
i am morose today.
yesterday was ok i guess.
i mean it was half day so i was supposed to enjoy myself, but i really didn't.
mostly because i couldn't go to the book store, but hopefully i will find some cheap books at the mall tomorrow.

so now i'm watching sum funny tokio hotel videos that i hope you people watch too!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5GJYrrdcjg

that might and might not work but just in case it don't go to youtube.com and search tokio hotel funny video IV. its really funny.

ok so now its time for the picture of the day.
YAY!!!
TODAY'S PICTURE OF THE DAY IS...

This picture means a lot to me cos it talks about bill's interest in fashion. i myself have an interest in fashion. this might sound surprising to many of you for i wear the most ourageous outfits ever. but really i like to pretend i'm gothic chic.

now i'm listening to rette mich in german when bill was still a very young child.
OH ITS SO BEAUTIFUL!!!!! <3
i love his voice so much!!!!!<3
i really am obsessed with him. but i think i'm kinda taking it to the max.
ooh i swear i might just waste all on my money on bill or tokio hotel merch...

just in case you were wondering, bill isn't the only thing i think about.
i also think about other things like kuki.
by the way kuki got me a birthday present but he never gave it to me so now i'm dying to know what it is and the fact that we won't go to school for a whole week is not helping. it could be anything. ANYTHING!!!
i guess i'm kind of hoping its a new necklace. i swear if it is i'd put it on immediately and never ever EVER take it off. it would truly mean that much to me!!!
i guess you could say i have a crush on kuki. i swear he's an incarnation of john.
i really do miss john. i've never felt the way i feel about him with anyone else.
i really do regret rejecting. i swear that my life could be completely different if i never did that. (sighs...) :(

so now here i am. feeling sorry for myself obsessing over someone i will never meet and just wishing for a miracle.
i am so pathetic...:(

i am a very pessemistic person. so pardon me for my meloncholy.

you know i think bill looks so cute in his early teens!!!<3
i wish i could meet someone who looked just like him right now the way he looked back then. (did that make sense???)

so my time is almost up for today. i don't think i'll be blogging much for the next ten days or so. so i'll have a lot (or nothing at all) to say next monday.

i do wonder if anyone ever reads my nonesense. if they read today's i think they will be very concerned. but they don't know the worst of my problems right now.

it really is hard for me to believe that i am Sechzehn now.
now i'm listening to heilig. i love this song so much. not just cos its german but also because of the lyrics. they're so beautiful!<3

du wirst fÜr mich immer heilig sein!

2009-03-05T10:39:00.000-08:00

OMIGOD!!!
ITS TIME FOR...
BILL-A-POLUZA!!!!!!
YAY! <3

TODAY'S PICTURE OF THE DAY CONSISTS OF MANY VERY BEAUTIFUL PICTURES OF BILL.<3
ALSO, I LOVED YESTERDAY'S PICTURE SO MUCH SO LET'S POST THAT AGAIN...

OMIGOD HE LOOKS SO BEAUTIFUL!!!!!
I MEAN LOOK AT THAT EXPRESSION IN HIS EYES...
THIS PICTURE IS FROM THE VANITY FAIR SHOOT.
HERE IS ANOTHER ONE, ALSO VERY BEAUTIFUL...
OK SO I DON'T THINK I HAVE THAT ONE. DARN IT!!!
SO HERE ARE SOME OLD PICS OF BILL...

AND NOW HERE ARE SOME CUSTOMIZED PICTURES I FOUND ON THE INTERNETS(I FIND EVERYTHING ON THE INTERNETS)...

AND HERE ARE SOME VERY VERY VERY VERY SEXY PICTURES OF BILL...

2009-03-05T06:46:00.000-08:00

YAY I'M BACK!!!
like i just took a test and it was so easy!!!
so like i only have to minutes to blog but i just wanted to say hi again and post a picture for today...

no this is not the picture of the day..in fact, this is only one of the pictures for today. YAY!!! I'M going to go overboard with pictures today!!! yay!!! ^o^
this is so fun! today is going to be so fun!
and the guy next to me is having so much fun!
ooh happy day!!! ;)
so i think i should go now but don't worry i'll be back and it will be
BILL-A-POLUZA!!!
YAY!!! ^o^
see you soon!!!

2009-03-05T06:11:00.000-08:00

YAY!!!!!!
I MADE IT!!!
I'M FINALLY SIXTEEN. ich bin sechzehn!!!
oh and what a day this has been. let me give you guys a summary of today...

so i woke up at 5:13 and then i couldn't go back to sleep so i got ready for school. then i got my birthday present from my parents and it was so awesome!!!
ich haben zwei hundert dollars!!! ^o^
and then my daddy gave me A hug. I LOVE YOU DADDY!!!<3
and then my mommy gave me a hug. I LOVE YOU MOMMY!!!<3 YOUR THE REASON I'M HERE TODAY!!! THANK YOU!!!!
and then i opened my parents' present:
a card with ten twenty dollar bills...
then i did my happy dance:
ICH HABEN ZWEI HUNDERT DOLLARS!!! ^o^
and everything was just going so swell!!! :)
so then i got on the bus to school and shortly after my arrival here i got a very wonderful phone call from a very special someone.
no, it wasn't my boyfriend, don't have one, it was my very best girlfriend, JOCELYN!!!<3
ooh i've missed her so much and after all these years she calls me on my birthday.
SHE IS TRULY A TRUE FRIEND...
OH GAWD I THINK I'M TEARING UP AGAIN...EXCUSE ME FOR A SECOND...

OK I feel better now. but it truly was nice hearing from her. so now here i am bloggig but i will have to leave shortly for i have to take a test so i will stop now and come back again at lunch where we will have a bill-a-poluza!!!!(did i spell that right??? i'm so grammar concious.)
so don't worry folks this isn't all the madness for today!!
YAY!!! ^o^
see you soon!!!!

2009-03-04T10:02:00.000-08:00

YAY!!!
YA regresa. i have returned.
so like idk if i'll be here after school. so in the meantime i want to jot down a few thoughts i've been having. like...yesterday or was it the day before??? anyway, i often watch that show leave it to beaver and OMIGOD TONY DOW IS SO HOT!!!
HERE'S A PICTURE OF HIM NOW...

SO WADAYA THINK??? SEXY HUH??? TOO BAD THO HE'S OLD NOW. CAN'T SAY THE SAME FOR BEAVER EITHER LOL TEE-HEE! I KNOW THAT'S MEAN SO I'LL STOP IT NOW.

so like omigod david said my birthday present will be all the way from Germany!!
YAY!!!! I SO EXCITED!!! ME CAN'T WAIT!!!!!

now i don't think i might come back today so i'll just get straight to today's...
PICTURE OF THE DAY!!!!! YAY!!!^o^
DRUMROLL PLEASE.....
TODAY'S PICTURE OF THE DAY IS.....

HOLY CRUD I COULD NOT STOP MAKING OUT WITH THIS PICTURE THIS MORNING...
THIS IS OFFICIALLY MY VERY FAVORITE PICTURE OF BILL!!! <3
GAWD I LUV IM SOOOO MOCH!!! <3 <3 <3

i have no idea what time this bell is gonna ring so i'll try to keep this short.

ok so like as you all know i am trying to learn German so i have translated some sentences(words) for my special day tomorrow...
Morgen ist mein Geburtstag(tomorrow is my birthday)
Ich werde sechzehn drehen(i will be turning sixteen)

Note: i have no idea how to say this...
tee-hee!!
grr.. the bell just rang!!!
gotta go!!
by-bye!!!!

2009-03-04T06:16:00.000-08:00

Guten Morgen jeder!!!
good morning everyone!!!
for those of you that have already besucht mein blog:
THANK YOU!!!! ME SO HAPPIE YOU DID!!! TEE-HEE!!^o^

ok so now i have a ton of images on this computer.(is that even allowed???)
so i want to post some but idk. i think i'll go crazy about that tomorrow.
TEE-HEE!!!

so tomorrow is my birthday.
wow, that was a big statement. anyway to me it was. wow the big Sechzehn.(sixteen)
i'm so happie and proud of myself for making it this far!!!
YAY ME!!! :)

so like the bell is gonna ring in like five minutes so i should finish up my thoughts and i'll get back to you at lunch.
TEE-HEE!!! ^o^

2009-03-03T14:13:00.000-08:00

hallo!!!
i'm back YAY!!! XD
so like i might not stay so long today...:(
so yesterday i was watching this movie called Kit Kitteridge and it was about this girl who wanted to be a reporter during the great depression and it was so sad cos all these guys were leaving their families and it was so sad.. and now i'm tearing up cos david is leaving me and not waiting for me to finish so i guess i'll come back tomorrows...:(
BYE-BYE!!!
I HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO SAY THAT IN GERMAN.
SEE YOU SOON!!;)

2009-03-03T10:35:00.000-08:00

hallo weider!!! ^o^
i'm back!!!
ok so like i'm in the computer lab right now.
this is like my third home(the library is my first. TEE-HEE!!XD is it weird that books make me hormonal???)

ok i think i just found today's picture of the day!!! YAY!!!
DRUMROLL PLEASE....
TODAY'S PICTURE OF THE DAY IS...

YAY!!!
OMIGOD HE LOOKS SO SEXII!!!!^o^
JUST LOOK AT HIM!!!
he makes wanna
SCHREIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TILL YOU FEEL IT
SCHREIII!!!!!!!!
TILL YOU BELIEVE IT.
OH I BELIEVE IT ALRIGHT BILL.
TEE-HEE!!!
^o^
OH I AM A PSYCHO.
EVERYONE IS AFRAID OF ME...
WELL ITS ALMOST TIME TO GO NOW...
WHY IS IT THAT THERE IS ALWAYS A TIME LIMIT WHEN I USE A COMPUTER...
WAAAHH!!!!!:(
SO I GUESS I SHOULD STOP NOW.
I'D POST MORE PICTURES BUT THERE'S TOO MANY.
AND PLUS I NEED TO MAKE THEM LAST...

SO HOPEFULLY I'LL BE BACK AFTERSCHOOL....
SEE YOU LATER!!! ;)

2009-03-02T14:21:00.000-08:00

Guten Morgen!!! ^o^
i am still somewhat sheepish...
OMIGOD!!! I'm listening to Geh again!!<3
i love it so much but i can only hear thirty seconds of it!:(
So I think I'll write down the lyrics or sum...

ok now i'm listening to By Your side in german.

ok so now i have to leave early(GRR..) cos i didn't finish my chemistry homework...
WAAHH!!! :(
hopefully i'll be back soon.

so for now here's a picture to keep you guys company...

OH YEAH..THAT'S BILL'S BEAUTIFUL BUT..
TEE-HEE!!! XD
SEE YOU GUYS LATER!!!^o^

2009-03-02T10:32:00.000-08:00

HALLO!!!
ich bin hinter!!
i'm back. and now its time for some miranda madness!!
TEE-HEE!!! XD
so like i just had some lunch cos i was starvin and like my chemistry teacher can be a bit mental. like when she's POed she tends to talk to herself. TEE-HEE!!
i don't blame her though, i'd get sick of children not doing their homework too!
and i am so tired of lending people my homework and not getting it back!!! >(
it makes me so angry!!!

well on a brighter note, (sorry david) lets talk about bill some. TEE-HEE!!!
i get EXCITED just saying his name!!! XD ^o^
yeah i know i'm crazy...

i have no idea what today's picture of the day is...
i already posted a lot of pictures this morning. perhaps... i might just look for one right now... hold on...

ok i think i found today's picture...
DRUMROLL PLEASE...
TODAY'S PICTURE OF THE DAY IS...

ALL I CAN SAY ABOUT THIS PICTURE IS...WHOAH....
this might sound wrong but OMIGOD THAT PICTURE IS SO FUCKING(PARDON MY FRENCH) SEXY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^o^
YAY!!! idk why i'm saying yay but dam that is probably the sexiest picture i've found of them and i know this sounds wrong because they are TWIN BROTHERS but damn man. they're like the sexiest twins ever!!!!! XD
yes i am aware that there are some VERY cute pictures of them being brothers and NOTHING MORE. and i have some. in fact here they are now...

so i think i'm just gonna go overboard with the picture of the day...
ooh i love these twins. i have to do something so special for them on their birthday!
oh rats!! my time is almost up but don't worry! i'll be back soon!!!
so i'll leave yall to your drooling...
TEE-HEE!!! ^o^

2009-03-02T06:20:00.000-08:00

Guten Morgen!!! -_-
i'm still some what asleep.
today is starting out very wonderful!!
this is what i look like right now...

TEE-HEE!!! lol j/k that's a picture of bill.

i think i might go over board with pictures today.
i'm on this website called last.fm
there are so many great pictures of bill here!!!
i could really use my usb. WAAAHH!!! :(

oh well. here is another picture in the mean time.

TEE-HEE!!!
Bill looks so cute in this picture!!! ^O^

GRRR... I just realized that the website i'm on is only for buying!!!!
WAAAHHH!!!! i wish i could buy!!!

how sad...

TEE-HEE!!!
i just found a funny picture of tom!!

is it just me or does he always look like that???
ok so here's another picture of tom...

lol. it looks like he's having another orgasm!!!
i swear there's a secret vibrator in his guitar that makes him make that face.
TEE-HEE!!! XD

david is sitting next to me.
he looks dead.
i'd take a pic but i don't have my camera.
and the camera in my phone sucks...
i really miss my usb...

ooh its almost time to go. see you soon!!! ;)

2009-03-01T13:34:00.000-08:00

guten tag!!!
yay! i have a friend on this site.
but i have no idea who they are...

so here i am again. at the library. its awfully crowded today.
yesterday it was very empty...i sure wish i had a computer but i guess its a good idea i don't.
so again i'm listening to tokio hotel's earlier songs.
i want that zimmer 483 cd so baadd!!!

ok now im listening to monsoon live again.
what can i say? i love it!!! i still think its not that great cos he sounds flat but i just can't disagree with bill.

also i have to print some info for my friend. GRR...!!! >(
first she lost my flashdrive, and now she asks me to finish her project which was due a WEEK AGO???
is it just me or does she ask too much of me???

so now its time for todays...
PICTURE OF THE DAY. YAY!!! XD
DRUMROLL PLEASE...

ooh i just love how bill looks in this picture!!! <3
but then again i love all his pictures. TEE-HEE!!
this picture is like the only picture i have of him and the band.
i love his face and how he's pointing at ME telling me that i'm the one.
if only...

so i guess the only thing i'm wishing for my birthday this year is zimmer 483 and maybe schrei. but most importantly ich bin nicht ich. i have no idea where to find that song besides youtube.

there's this creepy cute picture of bill with an exaggerated smile on his face.
i wish i had it.
i talk way too much about bill don't i???
david told me so yesterday.

yay!!! i bought some yummy goodies yesterday.

personally i think i look good in this picture cos my hair looks long.

and for some reason i can't send my adress to my friends so they can see my blog.
david has been the only successful one.
and that one person who added me who has no name.
i wonder if that's david himself???

so i have a few minutes before i have to say goodbye.
i'm listening(STILL???) to a song on youtube. its called Hilf mir fliegen.
i have no idea what that means but it sounds very beautiful.
and also this other song called geh.

i really need to learn german so i can understand the beautiful things bill sings about. (sighs..)

so i guess i should get going now.
i'm running out of time.
that sounds sad to me cos i'm almost sixteen.
i never thought i'd ever be this old.
i feel nervous about working and stuff.
i have a bad feeling about going overboard with the spending.
so i guess i'll see yall tomorrows!!!
can't wait till friday!
we have a half day!!!
yay!!! ^o^
see ya soon!!

2009-02-28T10:25:00.000-08:00

now i'm listening to hallo.

its such a beautiful song even tho i have no idea what he's singing about.

yesterday i was thinking about some of my favourite words in the dictionary.
here are some handpicked ones from the back:
Über
vermilion
writhe
Xanadu
yesterday
zimmer.
you'll notice that some of them are german like Über and zimmer. i thought that Über meant a lot or very but i saw in a book that it meant over as in above. like as used in the song heilig. and also you can see that zimmer is german which means room. i want to learn how to speak german so that maybe one day i can have a conversation with Bill and he will understand me. my friend told me that Bill doesn't want to learn english cos its too hard. that is very heartbreaking to me cos its like he don't care about his fans here in america. so instead i'll learn german to impress him and maybe he will learn english. he sounds so cute in english!!! XD

so i have this pal who is my partner in two classes and he is so hot and i luv im so much and yesterday he was texting someone(he's always texting!!! i wish he were texting me..:() and for some reason he stopped and i put kuki in his phone and sent the text and he was like WTF!!! YOU WOULD DO THAT(his new catch phrase.) i just laughed and giggled and did what a creepy girl like me usually does. so anyway, from now on i will call him kuki. yay!!!

ooh i'm listening to 1000 meere(1000 oceans) its so sexii!!! xD
I swear Bill should sing some of his german songs here in america!!
next time he comes to arizona i'm gonna be the first in line to get tickets and i'll sit in the front row where he can hear me and beg him to sing something in german. i'll bring a big ol sign in german saying, please sing reden or ich bin nicht ich or frei im frieim fall or that really long song i can't pronounce and he'll be so intruiged(did i spell that right??) by my enthusiasm that he'll ask me to meet him after the show and maybe he'll give me his number. (SIGHS..)
if only...

i don't think i'll be able to blog tomorrow..:(
so just in case my time suddenly stops i'd like to say goodbye!!!
i hope you take in interest in my nonesense and continue reading and stuff.
i hope that i'll be able to type here in german so that i could get a bunch of comments from you guys asking me what this says and stuff.
oh i'm listening to rette mich live and again Bill is not trying the high notes. WHY?!?! :(
WELL I SHOULD PROBABLY STOP NOW.
SEE YOU SOON!!! ;)

2009-02-28T09:47:00.000-08:00

hello again!!!!
guten tag!!!
hola! como estan???
yo estoy muy bien. i'm doing well.
sorry but i don't think i can post a picture today. my friend has my usb.
WAAAHH!!! :(

I'm listening to monsoon live.
please forgive me for saying this Bill but,
IT SUCKS!!!
why didn't you go for any high notes or whole notes???
i just want to cry cos you sang it so weird.
but oh well. you look so fine singing it TEE-HEE!!!
ICH LIEBE BILLl!!!<3

about a couple of months ago my friend sent me a funny video on myspace.
i'd post it but i have no idea how to.
so just go to youtube and type in tokio hotel funny video and at least listen to the songs cos the wonderful person who posted this lovely video made it from some of tokio hotel's earlier songs which by the way are in german and it consisted of many wonderful beautiful hilarious and eccentric pictures of bill and the band.

yay!!
i just figured out how to post today's picture of the day!!!
DRUMROLL PLEASE...
TODAY'S PICTURE OF THE DAY IS...

THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE PICTURES OF BILL!!! <3
GOD HE LOOKS SO SEXII SHOWING OFF HIS TATTOO.

so yesterday i texted people the address to visit my blog. i accidentally sent them the wrong address so i apologize. the correct address is ichliebebill-marysol.blogspot.com. i accidentally put blogster. for some reason i get them confused. so if you somehow made it here:
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR VISITING!!!
please feel free to leave comments. i think that means signing in somewhere. i will have to look into that. but just in case you have my number or you can send me a message on myspace or something.

ooh...i'm listening to heilig (sacred) on youtube.
omigod it sounds so beautiful...
especially when he says Über dir...
(SIGHS...)
If only people knew how i really feel.

2009-02-27T14:18:00.000-08:00

yay!!!
schools's out!! Time for the weekend!!
To-do list:
chemistry, geometry, and history homework
finish overalls, start on skirt, shirt/dress
knit, crochet
obssess over BILL. yay!!!
read
clean my room
and of course manage my blog.

HOLY CRAP!!!
I just realized that my birthday is next week.
YAY!!! I wonder if my parents will spoil me this week.
just in case they don't i should get a job.
my friend lewis got an application for harkins.
that lucky duck!
no worries i just need to go job hunting. sooner or later...

to continue my madness...i want to show yall a poem i wrote in honor of Bill!!!
this was a class assignment but i felt it was too personal so i turned in a different poem.
so here it is:

Ode to Bill Kaulitz

Your smile illuminates my soul
For it is that of an angel’s
You have ivory skin which I long to caress
And hazel eyes I could look into for an eternity

Your voice I will never tire of
For it is harmonic and beautiful
Your image is unique if not astounding
The first time I saw you, you took my breath away

I long to hold your hand
I long to kiss your lips
I long to be held in your arms
I long to be yours

I will never forget you Bill Kaulitz
Never will I forget that happy face
That face you only see once in a lifetime
The face I fell in love with so long ago

I wish you weren’t so famous
And loved by all of earth
So that maybe we could spend the rest of our lives
Together and undisturbed

I wish I could meet you and tell you how I feel
But you probably already know
For you have every young girl smitten
With that handsome angelic face

I want to believe my love is different
That it is unique and true
I want you to know that I care about you
But you are too far away

And so I find myself
Falling
Falling
Falling from grace

You make me a different person

i thought i should add a picture for emphasis and of course so yall know who i'm talking about. gosh i love him so much even though he probably smokes and drinks and has reckless sex. but on the bright side he's not exactly very sexually active. i read on tokiopedia that he is waiting for that special someone.
i hope its me!!! :(

oh well. i wonder if i'll ever meet him and if he'll care about me and my feelings.
sometimes i tend to get too pessimistic. :(

on a brighter note, all this week i have been exploring the beautiful clothing on maruione.jp. its too expensive, but its alright cos i make most of my own clothes so if they don't mind i'm just gonna copy some of their designs...
TEE-HEE!!!

If your wondering why i keep doing that creepy TEE-HEE!!! i got it from a book just to let you know. i've been through a lot of changes this year.
last year i was an innocent freshman in high school with a boy at my side who i loved very much. but for some reason he kept breaking up with me and earlier this year he started seeing other girls so i thought that maybe he didn't like me anymore. but the truth is he still likes me he was just trying to make me jealous. he did a good job by the way. anyway, last year i was also obssessed with the used and my chemical romance and i wore jeans all the time and i was happy and did ok at school(not so great) and i was an overall happy person. but now...
now i have to many interests like sewing, crochet, reading MANGA(i love manga now!!), and this sick obssession with bill kaulitz.
idk why but one day i saw his picture and i couldn't stop thinking about him.
i remember how i couldn't tell if he was a boy or a girl. it scared me and got me so interested and i just wanted more. then i heard the song monsoon and i was hooked!!!
then my friend sent me a video about tokio hotel and it made me go crazy!!!!
everyone thinks i'm crazy. but i don't mind. its fun being crazy!!!
TEE-HEE!!!

2009-02-27T10:35:00.000-08:00

HELLO!!!
or should i say... Guten tag!!
that's right, i love bill so much i'm gonna learn german and then go to germany and stalk him.
TEE-HEE!!!
And now for the moment you've all been waiting for...
DRUMROLL PLEASE...

TODAY'S PICTURE OF THE DAY IS...

THIS PICTURE WAS BROUGHT TO YOU TODAY BY...WELL I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHERE IT CAME FROM BUT I KNOW I FOUND IT IN SOMEONE ELSE'S BLOG(SORRY!!!)
I PICKED THIS PICTURE BECAUSE AS YOU ALL KNOW IT LOOKS VERY SEXY.
AND ARE THOSE GERMAN DOLLARS?!?!?!!
Dam bill, you a hustler. lol. TEE-HEE!!! XD ^_^

I'm not a very open person so those of you who know me might hear some things you don't like. So this is a warning.
By the way if you came to visit my blog..
THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!
I'm so happy you took time out of your day (or limited time on the computer at the library) to read my nonesense.
Yes i know miranda is my last name but its just that marysol didn't fit well.

aw man...lunch is almost over.
well gotta go.
see you soon!!! ^o^

its my first time....

2009-02-27T06:49:00.001-08:00

hello!!
ooh i'm so excited this is my first entry...i think...
anyway school is about to start and i'm so mad cos i couldn't sign in earlier so i won't have time to finish but don't worry i'll be back in a few hours.
TEE-HEE!!! XD

for those of you who already know me, yall know my sick obssession with Bill Kaulitz<3
so everyday will have a picture of the day of bill or tom kaulitz.
just cos i love em that much.
i'll post it later cos i'm in a hurry right now..
well the bell just rang.
see you soon!!!!